New York City Streets Have Turned into the Wild Wild West, Watch as Gun Battle Erupts

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Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear where disputes were settled with gunfire. Instead of the OK Corral, modern gunslingers battle it out on urban side streets. Manhattan’s Upper West Side looked just like Tombstone or Dodge City when “two men opened fire on each other in broad daylight.”

Battle of West 103rd Street

The New York City police were forced to drop the donuts because of a raging gun battle, taking the call around 2:20 p.m. Tuesday, May 25, 2021. A concerned citizen alerted them to “a shooting in front of 210 West 103rd Street.”

Two local gang-bangers flashed the wrong signs at each other and it was on. The way the cops put it, “two unknown male individuals had confronted each other and fired an unknown number of gunshots in the vicinity of one another.”

They obviously don’t know much about the big battle, but they were happy to tell it to Faux News. Due to the modern miracle of omnipresent surveillance equipment, Big Brother watched and recorded the entire skirmish.

It’s a good thing there weren’t any bystanders around because both of the hood rats were terrible shots.

As the battle blazed, both were seen “firing indiscriminately then ducking behind parked cars before fleeing the scene.” Never to be seen again.

New York City police don’t get paid enough to find anyone if there isn’t a body to be carried away because of it. Even then, they don’t look all that hard.

Escape on a GoPed

One headed south on iconic Broadway, while his opponent in the battle scooted west along 103rd Street on a GoPed.

Police say watch the video and that’s as much as they know but if anyone knows these jokers and wants to make some quick cash as a snitch, dial the digits. After all, Black Lives Matter, right? Why is it that they don’t seem to matter to each other?

The liberal press notes, “Police did not provide further details. They are asking for the public’s help in ascertaining the whereabouts of the two suspects.”

The only way this case will ever get cracked is if someone knows one of the battle participants and holds a grudge. The only thing that stands out to differentiate the two non-Caucasian men is “a vertical stripe on the legs” of one suspect.

Both participants of the battle are described by the obviously racist police as “dark-skinned” males. Both seem to be “between 18 and 22 years of age, 5’8″ tall, and 130 lbs.”

Both were “seen wearing a dark-colored sweatshirt” The one without a stripe had gray sweatpants, while stripe had “dark-colored” ones to go with the general Antifa-themed wardrobe choices. Both were equipped with “dark-colored sneakers.” Neither pricey enough to be identifiable.

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