The Worst Possible Report Emerges from Afghanistan

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Just when Imperial Leader Joe Biden thought it couldn’t get any worse in Afghanistan, it suddenly did. Like the Delta variant of Covid-19, ISIS-K has been unleashed upon the world. Thanks Joe. The latest urgent bulletin report from Kabul says the Khorasan Province chapter of the Islamic State, the special ISIS-K, “emerged” and has started spreading virally across the region. It doesn’t help that along with the fall of Kabul, the Taliban “seized the formerly U.S. controlled Bagram Air Base.” That’s where “there were approximately 5,000 prisoners being held,” including members of al Qaeda, ISIS, and the Taliban.”

Another Biden ‘F’ report card

His Wisdom Joe Biden had such an epic failure in Afghanistan he may never recover. Kamala Harris is already waving bye-bye to Biden and picking out new drapes for the throne room. All the palace intelligence advisers are going spastic because ISIS-K “poses a significant threat to retreating American troops and Afghan evacuees.”

Jake Sullivan told CNN, don’t be afraid. Be very, very afraid. The report of serious ISIS threat in Afghanistan “is real. It’s acute. It is persistent. And it is something we’re focused on with every tool in our arsenal.”

For now, American forces are concentrating on defense of the airfield. Meanwhile the Pentagon and the CIA both have their ears to the ground. The “military is working with the intelligence community to determine where a potential attack might originate.”

That’s “something that we are placing paramount priority on stopping or disrupting, and we’ll do everything we can as long as we’re on the ground to keep that from happening.” He assures liberal viewers that they are taking the report “absolutely deadly seriously.”

Other palace officials briefed NBC on the situation, noting, “U.S. forces are actively keeping track of threats the Sunni Islamist group poses to the airport in Kabul and those trying to reach it.”

They report focusing their efforts on “executing an alternate path. This includes gathering smaller groups of people at specific locations and then moving them to the airport in intervals. The goal is to get them there safely and make it easier to get through the gate quickly with smaller groups of people.”

New and improved

Khorasan Province turned out to be a breeding ground for terrorists. The ISIS-K variant mutated from the common strain “after the Islamic State announced its spread to the region of Khorasan in 2015.”

At least, that’s what the Center for Strategic and International Studies says. They report that the region “historically included sections of present-day Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Central Asia.”

The experts were waiting for something like this to happen. Just like with Wuhan, a leak was inevitable. They had a report or twenty floating around warning “of Islamic State elements present in Afghanistan.” The experts all knew “if they get the opportunity to put down infrastructure and train, then that will pose a threat to the west more widely.”

The Taliban just got the keys to a whole bunch of nifty American tanks, planes and helicopters. Along with lots and lots of things to arm them with and billions of bullets. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is allegedly cowering in the West Wing of the palace and babbling to his dog.

“There’s also the psychological effect of the inspiration that some people will draw from the failure of Western power in Afghanistan and that may well create a certain amount of energy in the wider networks that are still in existence in Britain and across the West.” Hey, doesn’t America have a special day coming up? “So in practical terms, an increase in ungoverned space, but also in psychological terms this does mean an increase in threat over coming months and years.”

Retired Army Gen. Jack Keane gave a report to Faux News confirming that “Biden’s withdrawal puts the country under pressure in the short term as it faces threats from ISIS and pressure to withdraw due to the timeline set by the Biden administration.” What a shame. “The U.S. military under President Donald Trump all but destroyed the Islamic State group by 2019.” With His Wisdom on the watch, “the group is back.”

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