Breaking: State Dept. Officially Investigating Biden

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Joe Biden’s State Department is thinking about adopting a new logo but they haven’t reached agreement on which image of a dumpster fire to feature. Antony Blinken can’t seem to say anything in defense of his actions regarding Afghanistan other than “don’t compare what happened in Kabul to Saigon!” He reportedly throws desk objects at anyone he hears utter the “S” word in his presence. His style of management is trickling down through the ranks. When spokesunit Ryan Holden was buttonholed about what’s going on inside the department’s Inspector General office, he blasted, “don’t call it an investigation!” He’s insisting that it’s merely a “review.”

Investigating the State Department

According to Politico, the Department’s inspector general launched “a series of investigations” into the way Blinky mis-managed the pullout from Afghanistan in the name of His Imperial Wisdom Joseph Robinette Biden Junior.

They quote a memo dated last week and signed by none other than Secretary Blinken himself. Winken and Nod were apparently consulted and gave approval on behalf of the Deep State.

The memo allegedly confirms “the investigations will focus on the State Department’s Special Immigrant Visa program” but they will also be looking into the processing of Afghan refugees for admission into the U.S., resettlement of those refugees, and the emergency evacuation of the U.S. Embassy in Kabul.

Even though Blinky used the word investigations, he meant “reviews,” flunkies explained later.

The State Department’s IG wants to take a hard look at the evacuation of U.S. citizens and Afghan nationals to see what went wrong. They will want to “review” how an ISIS member got on a plane and made it as far as Yemen before he was caught.

They want to review how the Taliban got lists of Americans and local Green Card holders used later to round them up and terrorize them. They especially want to know how we ended up murdering innocent civilians in a retaliatory drone strike.

Confirmed by the IG

Diana Shaw isn’t officially the State Department’s inspector general but she’s “acting” like one and warming the chair. She “informed several congressional committees on Monday of the work that her office is conducting.”

As soon as word leaked out courtesy of Politico, they dragged their OIG spokesperson Ryan Holden in front of a camera to spin it and do a little damage control.

“State OIG notified its committees of jurisdiction today of planned projects in the areas you mention,” Holden verified. “This work will be conducted in coordination with other members of the IG community. However, it is inaccurate to say that these projects are investigations. We indicated to Congress that these projects will be reviews.”

Oh, that makes it all right then. Investigations lead to charges, reviews lead nowhere.

The spin doctors are surprisingly quiet about the details of the ongoing “review” though, noting only that “inspectors general from other departments were likely to launch investigations into the chaotic events that unfolded under Democrat President Joe Biden’s leadership.”

Oops, they meant to say the other departments will be doing “reviews” of their own. For instance over at the Pentagon, the IG “recently announced three reviews related to the evacuation an evaluation of the botched drone strike in Kabul that killed 10 civilians instead of the Islamic State target.” there will also be “a review of DoD’s screening process for displaced Afghans” and “an audit of DoD support for the relocation of Afghan nationals.” You can rest assured nobody will be found guilty of doing a single thing wrong by the toothless watchdogs.

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